You said you would stay
but you left me high and
dry wondering if I would
ever be able to come back
down to fall into your arms
and wash away the troubles
with lips and embrace but
I knew that as much as I
love the nicotine I put in my
lungs the most addicting
thing in my life has become
the breath of fresh air that
accompanies solitude.
The dark is wild;
terrible, hungry.
You should cower
within it’s belly
cause the ones of
us that it has
swallowed up are
the true terror of
the night and our
stomachs grumble
and we do not
hesitate because
we too must swallow
you up or be
snuffed out just like
the light.
“You are twelve; add me.
I am negative thirteen.
We will never be.”
- Brandon Wallis
-Fire cleanses all
For new life to grow freely
Cancer in my lungs
-Oh Man, you think you are right.
You stormed my castle.
Oh Men, you came in the night;
bringing fire and death.
Oh Lordling, you wanted my life.
You didn’t even know why.
Oh God, you are the plague;
poisoning their minds
and spilling blood out from my veins;
you are pain.
Silver men; they come in waves,
fighting only in your name.
Oh Death, do not delay!
Your love is like the squeal
of a breaking car,
in too silent of a night.
It’s nothing we’d ask for,
but we welcome it,
because it’s comforting
when the silence is broken.
I guess it’s just nice, ya know?
I guess it’s nice to know,
we’re not alone.
I could have sworn your eyes, were made of stone,
emotionless, where did you go?
I could have sworn your skin was way too big,
hanging on your bones, where did you go?
I could have sworn your lips, cringed from my kiss,
you’re not the girl I loved, where did she go?
I could have sworn your heart was gone it seemed.
I could have sworn your soul had been bruised and beat.
Where did you go?
I could have sworn your voice, was smaller now,
than whispers in the wind, where did you go?
I could have sworn your hands, were shaking bad,
but winter’s past, where did you go?
I could have sworn your love, had turned to hate,
for everything come back to me, don’t go.
I could have sworn that you were strong,
much stronger than you’d ever know,
where did you go?
Tell me, please.
Break away the stone, and put the meat back on your bones.
Embrace my kiss, I’m sorry I let you go.
Come back to me.
Speak up darling, and clench your fists,
never will you be like this, again.
Please don’t go.
I could have sworn my life, turned for the worse,
I was shattered then, when I watched you go.
I could have sworn I tried to track you down,
it seems as if ghosts can’t be found, now please don’t go.
I could have sworn your presence, stayed with me,
every time I tried to let you go.
I could have sworn that you were gone forever.
I could have sworn that you were never gonna be,
in my life again.
And it was the worst realization,
the worst thought I ever could have had.
So please don’t go,
this time.
I just walked outside to half enjoy the comfort of a quiet smoke and also to satisfy my body’s unhealthy craving for nicotine. I’ve never seen or experienced a night like this though, even if only in the mere five minutes it took me to complete the task at hand. An eerie fog has rolled in and blanketed my little corner of this world and as I walked to the street I noticed the light in front of my house had gone out, leaving an unsettling dark spot in the normally comforting, lighted area allowing me to better comprehend my surroundings. As I walked that short distance from my front door to the street I told myself, as I always do, “fear is nothing if not made from yourself, so why allow it to consume me? Why give in to it?“ I have always been slightly afraid of the raccoon that shows no fear in my presence and instead capitalizes on my reluctance to be unafraid of it. It has chased me on multiple occasions, possibly due to the fact that she had recently given birth to four little babies who I am hoping do not grow up to be as terrifying as she is. But still I had the feeling something was wrong, and as I watched the smoke roll from my lips I realized what it was that was leaving me so unnerved. The silence. No cars, no branches being blown by the wind, just nothing. Not a single sound other than the ones coming from me. I thought to myself, “is this what it would be like if I was alone in this world? If I was the only one left, and somehow I had survived what not a single other soul could?” It was one of the most horrifying feelings that I’ve ever had. I hope I never forget this night. I hope I never forget what it felt like in that moment where I let my imagination run wild and my emotions get the best of me. I realized how much the people in my life mean to me and how distraught I would be without them. I may not have my life in order and might not be doing all I can to better myself as a person right now, but I am damn sure that I have everyone in my life that I want and need, and I hope nothing changes that. Maybe I’m just thinking about this too much, I just hope the people I care about pick up the phone tomorrow.
so you put on your sundress
and socks to your knees
you don’t care that it’s cold out
you just want to please
and I swear that it’s working
so soft and so sweet
and I’m sorry if I’m nervous
in your company
please
BE THE FUEL TO MY HEART
AS IT STRUGGLES TO BEAT
I’LL TRY NOT TO FALL
AS I’M SWEPT OFF MY FEET
JUST WANT YOU TO SEE
THAT YOU MEAN EVERYTHING
I NEED YOU TO KNOW
THAT YOU’RE EVERYTHING I WISH I SAW IN ME
can you kill me with kindness
will you love me to death
they say that love hurts
but it’s the knife that cuts best
can you kill me with kindness
will you love me to death
it’s your name on my lips
as I release my last breath
and I’m trying to find out
if I’m the thoughts that you think
but you’re a book in language
too foreign to read
you’re the leaves in the autumn
the first flower in spring
the heat of the summer
and the best part of me
please
BE THE FUEL TO MY HEART
AS IT STRUGGLES TO BEAT
I’LL TRY NOT TO FALL
AS I’M SWEPT OFF MY FEET
JUST WANT YOU TO SEE
THAT YOU MEAN EVERYTHING
I NEED YOU TO KNOW
THAT YOU’RE EVERYTHING I WISH I SAW IN ME
YOU’RE EVERYTHING I WISH THAT I COULD BE
so kill me with kindness
and love me to death
if they say that love hurts
then I’ll welcome my
end
I only show my face in the dark, to hide my rage.
Your eyes are ablaze, let them see the anger in your face.
We are flames. We are flames.
Burning bridges to the people who stand in our way.
We are flames.
Collecting ashes of the loved ones
who’ve strayed into our path
why can’t we take back the past,
why can’t we change?
I am the gas filling rooms behind the doors
why don’t you walk on through
Cause you are fire in its purest form
crafted from the sins of kids
watching as your skirt was ripped
and taking advantage
of strength over you.
So we burn everything
that stands in our way.
